Another Chance

                                        Photo source: https://static.pexels.com

Have you ever heard your thoughts

Going back to yesteryears

A place where flocks

All your memories dear 

You Spin and mull those dreams 

Through cobwebs or be clear

Your heart feels half or full

Knowing you are, your own cheer

But if life seems aghast

Eerily veered from path

Knowing promises were not kept

Are going to bear the wrath

Those childhood dreams precious

Life lived abstemious 

Marred by shadows dark

For reasons so facetious

Hey God! now please do listen

And be a real sport

I promise not to be smitten

By wrong path at the fork

Commit hardship or I suffer 

In my mind, there is no doubt

Just give me chance another
Path sunlit or shadowed by cloud

I will, I will do all
In mind I know won't fall
Promises will keep me tall
Not mind lifespan be small
Balancing soul with pride
Learning life's lessons, contrite
Promises I want to keep
Be burden heavy or light

Manjari

Not of this earth

Changing display, with winds every lurch
Static or sway, up high in sky perched
Dark as heavens or lighted with fire
reaching your heights envious, I do conspire

Spread out across the earth
With a blanket covered
Riotous colors wild
Every shade demanding berth
Lightening with streaks
At times with lofty spires
Intermingled with mountain peaks
Lakes in sky, at times drier

Inspiring me everyday
Can't rest my imagination at bay
Soaring high every time
Balming edges of heart's fray
Can't imagine for a moment
Life without your existence
Clouds of my meditation
Without you, life will be penance

Manjari

Clarity in mind

                                          photo source: https://static.pexels.com/photos/35884/amazing-beautiful-beauty-blue.jpg

Certain sweetness is there in lovelorn pain

Don't know heart loses in it or gains

Unsteady beats and shallow breaths

Reminder constant of boon turned bane 

It is reality serious, not just a game

no matter life full or just inane

Endearing thoughts, no stopping on its own

need no sympathy, definitely not  disdain

when you, believe me, lose your heart 

Not really it is walk in park

Divine elation, and flights in clouds 

Nights be dark, falling to valleys apart

Uncertain feelings plenty
Contant questions, answers be none
Mind's flight rocky
Foggy in mind, clarity undone

However it seems,this I have to say

Knowing now, my feelings night and day

My world  changed forever, like baked clay

Your presence won't leave, no matter you go or stay

Manjari

No Going Back

Don't know why you tried it so

Wound given sometime ago

Did not think that one I adore

Will give my heart a heavy blow

Bringing you up sheltered you know

Control you call it , maybe so

Keeping you safe was job supreme

As was I brought up, sometime ago

Don't know terms that you apply

Or rules you think you comply

Yes there were limits as should be
Was given possibilities you deny

Don't want to list all that I did

Have done as found it loving and fit

And things you did and we kept hid

We brought you up without a script

Thinking alone now you can walk

Think, is okay at us to balk

Were you just watching time to clock

We stood rebuffed as thorny stalk

Not everyday that I get hurt
Only when remember you being curt
Did everything as one could do
Nothing for you, but only dirt

No I don't feel no joy, no malice
Life is no wonderland of Alice
To drink up, and have past restored
Don't think ever will find that Chalice

Manjari

Salvation

                                                       image source: https://static.pexels.com/photos/33109/fall-autumn-red-season.jpg

Is it in togetherness

Or is it in loneliness

Or life lived with delicate finesse 

Or is it too in roughness

Is really a matter of knowledge

Or is it just to count your breaths

May be to finally acknowledge

Things learnt before one's death

Drama of life's story line 

Why has to be one's play

Moving with waves up high 

Crashing on rocks in Bay

Purpose of circle of life

When one depends on another

What message really is there

Why does any of it matter

Making no sense in mind

Existence to feed another

Lives separate but entwined

In reality detached further

Why create to destruct it all

Universe or person small

A puzzle mysterious grand

Or a game, if any, at all

Have no control being puppet

Drama of love and hate

The mirage of Salvation !
Or a word much like Fate

Manjari

Be your Coal

Desiring a presence next to me
Who let me be, when I want to be
Just a floating soul in nature's sea
Interacting with flowers like a buzzing bee

May ripples be small, or waves quite big
Reveal my self, at times need to dig
Sun may scorch at my being at times
Be flower on cactus, no fear of pricks

I want my flock to fly up high
My soulmate next to me, by my side
Wanting just love even when there's fight
Existence together, my dream come alive

Giving off energy, then imbibing some
There is no other way to existence
Beating hearts' harmony in your presence
Music beautiful in your silence

Need no ladder and need no pole
No lofty aspirations exposing my shoal
Shining like a diamond not my goal
Warming your existence, let me be coal

Manjari

Beauty in being Alone

You helped me plant those trees

And grow those fragrant flowers

My self was swaying with glee

Above mire, my mirth then spired

I waited anxiously for spring

Cool breeze and balmy noons 

Realization did later bring

Flowers won't grow on sand dunes

When did my land become parched

Reached that steep rampart

Trousseau was pressed and starched

Came suddenly at seams apart 

Watched glowing clouds turn dark

Shadows engulfing heart

Blame none if I couldn't mark

Warnings conscious not hark

Look past those cactus dunes

Find precious moment opportune

Hark back my long lost soul

Or leave the course jejune

Swinging from highs to lows

Longing for life lived afore

Wishing it out of existence

Beauty in being left alone

Manjari

Adieu

Blessing in letting go !

Don't think I will know

You went away a little farther

Every time you bid Adieu 

Ambers will cool slowly

Steady will be beating heart

Not the pain for cowardly

Takes time to feel apart

Heart cries less each separation

Breathing has gotten better

Smoothness at each serration

Pain felt subsides later

Feeling of doom gone

Future no longer bleak

Ready to sing new song

The cracks no longer creak

Can't leap memories' mound

Fog of thoughts harsh, not kind

Go on, don't let the past hound

You left nothing here behind

May you too find joy abound

In future that you find

Don't rewind, I may not be around

No ropes to keep me bind 

Manjari

Destination

Who said it is only you and me

Show time passed, as others may see

Scars shine as deep, on earth as well

That beautify ageless face of thee

Those cracks in barks and rings of age

Hide truth undeciferable by any sage

Valleys so deep, mind can't fathom

Secrets are locked at bottom beige

Can't see the end from where it starts
Nor can fathom beauty impart

Illusion of sky just getting lost

Such is the majesty of crevices dark

Changing its colors from day to night

Are mysteries revealed only when bright?

Or secrets hidden display with time
No matter shallows or heavenly heights

Canyons so Grand, a wondrous place

Memories of eras bound to a space

Persisting waters ever so soft
Chiseling it's art in earth's carapace

They beckon me back again and again

Without them my life looks merely plain

Not just physical but spiritual whole
My soul's destination without fail

Manjari

Drama

image source- pickthebrain.com

Tight knot that I have tied

Thoughts that I do hide

Teachings of life erudite

If let loose, in no time slide

What seemed out of sight

Now suddenly in view full, not slight;

Thought they would have lost sharpness

But the wounds hurt more hindsight

Don't ask me how I am doing

Am keeping pace not slowing

I have too many stops

No end to drama that's flowing

I want to be recast

No matter pace dull or fast

Want a new script in life

Picked up this story, not knowing

Will there be second chance 

Of life filled with music and dance 

No, don't need another partner

Can't keep practicing penance

Do I want to be alone?

Life can't be monotone

Why colors bring contrast

Can't they blend the heart borne !

Waiting for curtain to fall

Don't want to be missed at all

Tearing the soul from mind

Wish to leave it all behind 

Manjari

Elation

I

                                                                                                                     Photo from pixabay.com

No, don't need reason to laugh
Don't think it is life I mock
My disappointments hidden quite well
Disguised, saves others from shock

Find merriment about everywhere
Not time unlimited on the clock

Be calm divine, When feel despair

Why stay under! come up for air

If feel lonely, just find your pair
Life is when, for someone you care
If You won't hold reins of life
Believe me, no one is there

Thoughts pulling down, then tightly hold
Into serenity those must be mould
If events past bring sadness old
If warmth of heart turning to cold
Just take deep breath, let it all go
Does wonders for one's soul, I am told.

Manjari

Nostalgia

Memories of moments, need to glean

Where to start don't know

Will the slate be really clean

Or will there be shadow

Maa and Paa being proud
mentioned our feats in crowd
If there was, remember not
Trust was given no doubt

Presence that had us blessed
Family was pillar of life
Nothing given to us excess
Love, no rules belie

Will I ever get all back

Hands messed up with clay

Jumping from deck, on pile of leaves

Was just a child's play

Climbing those trees, but only some

Since I was kind of scared 

Can't even begin to think things done

With sis and bro who cared

A merry group at river bank

I was about to drown

Dressed in brother's little shorts

Care not, looked like a clown

Seen as Tomboy believe me this

I know it is hard to guess

Singing with friends, chanting slogans

Always fashionably dressed

Uniformed in beige and white

Marched in rhythm with sister

Like two peas in a pod

Stirred up a storm and twister

Going to farms n fields nearby
Picking Guavas ripe
I used to pay for them alright
Naughty sis wanted to swipe 😊

Time spent mapping miles around
We knew almost them all
On trees or dusty pebbly ground
With friends short and tall
What wouldn't I give to get all back
Childhood so filled with chatter
Knew not life later will lack
These things that always matter

Manjari

Tears

When looking out the window

And heart is full of joyful cheer 

Peace inside has reached crescendo 

Almost childish, which was austere

Feel suddenly a wet little drop

Trickling down my cheek and jaw

No sadness I feel in real

Somehow happiness has its flaw

Try to reminisce moments past

What did leave my emotions aghast ?

Why the flower of my bloom

Reminding me of a parched plume

What buried thought invoking fright

Thought I saw all clear as light

Something lurking in the dark

Overshadowes my merriment bright 

Don't acknowledge, if there is one

Some negative keeps down my sum

I am a soul that strives to thrive

Uplifting self, that must be done.

Manjari 

Prayers Beware

Requested many a times, expectant

Then there are times, asked only once
Praying to God for something important
At times never answered and sometimes at once

If my weary heart ever asked for someone 

The one I didn't need to meet in person

Just in thoughts that one I could love
Will effortlessly learn life's lesson

Dwelling in thoughts, my day and night

Facing life's doldrums, steadying ship slight

Brightness of day will be his reflection

Mirroring myself in his selfless actions

Was I asking too much in that kinship !

Is there possibility of such a friendship !

For one who hear cries of people's heart

Knew life is not about, just being smart

Little joys of living who will revive

Beautiful only when together we thrive

Brushing soft strokes with unquestionable might 

Standing in water deep, for when I dive 

Perfecting just one thing not his pursuit

Life be more than a bushelful of loot

Taking new endeavors his favorite game

Couldn't be bothered gaining name and fame

If there was ever such a person divine

My heart being near whom, always pine

And then, God shows, here's what I asked !

Prayer incarnate, but can't be mine

Have that someone to love n admire

Person who fuels thoughts silently on fire

Should I be free to say, my desire

Or keep to myself, not being town crier

Now when ever something dearly I want

Should my prayer be answered and haunt !

I am extra specially really really careful

Taking super seriously and not just a jaunt

For again if I fall into my own trap

Ask for something that I do not yet have

Trouble will be, it comes scaring me true

Will be no going back to start life anew

Manjari

Living with you

Image from: http://planetxnews.com/2015/10/17/our-sun-has-a-twin-companion-star/

Life with you, like singing a song

Taking deep breaths,carrying notes long

With every rhythm, heart changes its beat

Body wants to join with dancing feet

Vibrations transform into colors brilliant

Turning dull moments into something radiant

Wanting my life to be so much more

Just being with you seems more sapient

Something taking over being next to you

Companionship, like flowers with dew

No, don't ever want to be away or far

My existence with you, like a binary star 

Manjari

Life on Fire

      *photograph of setting sun with clouds of smoke hovering on horizon**

Fires in the forest, casting shadows tallest
Turning into black, abundant green flawless

Life being poisoned with fiery potion

No care in the world for lost emotions 

Making Clouds of smoke, maybe some Fume

Seems like a game of gloom and doom

Approaching fire, what will transpire

Will take your life, what took those bloom

Birds congregating, trying to sit it out

Will life have a chance! Still in doubt

Breathing heavily losing innocent souls

Little flightless ones couldn't fight it out

Sun trying its best to shine through

Still convincing sky beyond is blue

Undoubtedly, it is destined circle of life

Things will be now, starting all anew

**********************

A few days ago I was coming back from airport after picking up a family member. California fires had been burning for a day and the sky was black from the soot, giving the impression of thunderous rain clouds. By the time we were on our way back, the horizon was ablaze with setting sun which was desperately trying to leave its last marks on earth before bidding adieu.

It was very much like any other sunset, except if you have paid attention to a lot of them; you can't miss the veil of ominous soot laden clouds trying to block the last few rays of warmth. Sun was trying to make its every last effort to shine through and looks like was just too tired and ready to give up and go back to sleep. A constant tussle between making lasting impressions before one takes leave and life's experiences defining you. I took some photographs and while looking on to get the glimpse of what won't be seen for another day, I could not stop myself from thinking......

How similar is today's setting sun with a person getting ready to face challenges of old age! We see an old person and the appearance borders between a veil and map of their life. Partly hiding what lies beneath and partly reflecting all that one has gone through. Their personality still shining through, trying to make it's mark despite the shaking limbs, crisscrossed face and lagging agility. That is a place we will All be, no matter what; unless the fires of our lives becomes so intense that they hide the sun completely.

I want to try and see the child that was there once behind the veil of wrinkles. This will be my new pursuit in my interactions with elderly.

Letting Go

There is a certain burden I bear

And is nothing quite so drear

Not handed by someone just known

But who were to be near and dear

Is it really one's own fate

That brings on this stalemate

I know, can't bend no more

But castigations don't abate

I gave my heart and soul

By bushels and not just dole

Their pain became my own

Mountain for them, my knoll

No, not showing my ire

Feelings stoking my fire

Always wearing others shoes

Find myself bind in mire

Wanted to keep those bonds

Unfurling emotional fronds

I'm letting you go off now

As you make your own inroads 

And I do have to realize

Not doing so won't be wise

Who I view as so close

Don't even know my plight 

Wanting to scream in pain

All complications in vane 

Like poking holes in a boat

In the middle of ocean plain

Life's lessons to them don't matter

Doling out pain, they swagger

I'm trying to keep it together

Brushing elegant strokes, not splatter

Not easy to rock my boat

Perforate or heart you tore

Life's pretty much like the Sun

Down one day, again it's begun

Don't matter if clouds are dark

Flowers bloom with sounds of skylark

See cooling rains on horizon

My meadow will be alive again

Manjari

The watermark on painting is from my website. 

My Success

Being mother's child, with temperament mild

A wife content with rules to bend

A sister, who my sister wished 

Being mother of two, time just vanish

I love to plant and tend garden

No work to me, is really spartan

Don't think I know just how to rest

Unending list, being second to none

I have been told, again and again

focus, spruce up the list and tame

Unruly creative forces of waves

riding many boats in deep ocean

In this little time that God has given

Spent partly in childhood's playpen

Life may end like a flash on stage

curtain may fall or stage give in

I want to do whatever I can

Anything that makes heart sing again

could be working hard in sweat to toil

or watching the clouds, sitting pretty as dame

I want no list I must conquer

Things happen in life just as they occur

A hundred things I want to do

be it going to heights or just for succor

Fastening my life with couple of goals

my life's destination is not with shoal

I chart my route, do as I please

Dropping lots of pins with just one ball

Success to me is kind of weird

Not going up ladder highly tiered

I am as adept as a pretty starfish

To go which way I wish to steer

Believe me it makes me happy as clam

Doing so many things and so little plan

Executing it all and not just few

That's how my existence gains its glam

Doing endless chores every opportunity 

Confused it may seem, unresolutely

It's not just what brings gains to fruition

But also the intent and intensity

Bringing joy to all, natural and living

It's not just one but many things

When I look back at this existence 

Success to me, is a life well lived !

Manjari

Image- en.wikipedia.org

Enslaved soul

** dedicated to those little girls who have been enslaved by terrorists, to be sold** may you find your freedom soon**

I was named a name

That seemed pious and sane

Will bring me good luck 

Though seemed arcane

Loved by mother and father alike

And ties with family were lovingly tight

Not a day went by when we did not pray

Workload that day be heavy or light

We built sand castles with pebbles and sticks

Each one of us had our own tricks

What we ate and dressed and played and read

Not a care in life, like flowers adrift

Then came this herd of socalled men

Who had their rusty rules to pen

Who lives, who dies and who is enslaved

It seemed to be only their decision

One lived only if echoed their path

Otherwise will have to face the wrath

These so called God's godly men

Didn't know that brood has many a wren

I did not give them any such claim

To speak for me, these social sin

To take my freedom and kill and maim

Then tell me they cared just the same

I could not utter my mind's concern

Nor could I tell them to be on run

For I had no power I know, they knew

As I lived my life on just their terms

They think they can take my breath away

Can break my spirit and claim me slave

This is not the first it happened ever

That some think to rule all night and day

Seems they forget that times do change 

For baddest of bad and greatest of great

Whatever they may consider themselves

They may not keep my soul afraid

For I will rise and rise I will

This is a promise I will fulfil

For my father and mother and sister little

And for brother who waits at windowsill 

I will go home and be with them 

Can't keep me away, no gun no men

Then one day when your reckoning comes

You will see just how you have become

If no one shows, the mirror will still

My joy restored, your life be nill 

Manjari

Image from www.cs4fn.org

Appeal

Fate has gravity binding us

Since I keep falling towards You

Others tugging me to resist the fall

But somehow this union seems True

This is coming together of minds

There are issues, I am not blind

I know they won't be gone with time

Though what we have is so sublime

And then you get so confused 

Can't breathe with passion suffused

Continue to push me away from you

Why the ties don't break,I have no clue

Sending me away at reason slightest

Facing the stormy seas at best

My heart though churns at your behest

Draining my soul of all it's zest

Though I must share with you this feel

My emotions are beginning to congeal

Disconnection is trying to set itself in

This may be, my very last appeal

Don't set my sail for far away

For once I am gone, I may not sway

My beating heart wants it's say

Whether you agree with me or nay

You may try to find me now and then

Thinking may be 'am waiting at bay

There may be beckoning spring near you

My absence will be there, forever to stay

Manjari

Poetic or Prose

I took to the road and charted the route 

Then I just waited to grow some wings 

Prospect of discovery made my heart a flute

I let myself be carried merrily to swing

It has been ages, said my mind unsure

Waxing n waning has me tired and worn

When did I myself truly unwind

My shroud of soul now sullied and torn

I have forgotten, it tells me yet again

To enjoy life's little things much inane

If I let go, if I let it go too far

Won't it open the wounds in vane!

Then ahead I saw the winding road 

The waves of ocean patting the rocks

With water in puddles and leaves afloat

Mimicking a tug on little child's frock 

Come on, come on; keep the pace 

Don't let the yesterdays drift you in maze

The rows of vines beckoning to slow down

Walking  a path unknown in a daze

The clouds kept changing size and shapes

Those dried up hills and rolled up hay

Brushing scenery clear, my eyes agaze

Told me to keep my sorrows at bay 

There a solitary rabbit, here a herd o' horse;

Adorning nature's cope like handmade morse *

It seems all surreal like dreaming a dream

Inside my heart, it's reality enforced

Narrating intact in depiction of life

Is this all real or just a fictional flight !

Stopping the shadows from encroaching the bright

Beauty of nature seems afflicted slight

This toussel to win and lose and win

Has kept the hopes from getting too dim

Will the end be poetic or just a precise prose

For only to nature, belongs a devout hymn

Manjari

* - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cope

Bound by Death

-- these thoughts are just few words reflecting feelings (being abondonwd by their father) of someone I knew well , who passed away..

Was I a gift given to you

Or were you brought to me,

This question will haunt me,

till eternity. 

Why did my presence

Not halt your indiscretions,

Mired my life with strife 

deter you not from decisions.

I heard that you thought of us

I heard that you cared

I also heard, when Maa died

You felt no despair

There was no effort anytime

To reach out to us;

Busy with new things to do,

We'ere our of focus. 

Strongly did we live our lives

I think I should boast,

Like a twining flowering bloom

Without a pillar or post

Today I breathed my last breath

And see from where I stand

What did not happen in our lives 

In death we joined hands.

Manjari

Jacaranda Tree in my backyard

There is a tree in my untamed backyard,

Jacaranda tree with canopy quite large,

Shading the garden most of the time,

Resting at its place like playing a mime

Come May it fills with lavender color flowers,

Shaped like trumpet, filled with nectar to devour, 

Squirrels call it home, day or night

Sheltering one and all, showing its Might 

I am sure there is a nest somewhere up there,

Though the boughy branches hide it with flair,

Some branches are thick and some merely stick,

Hummingbirds nearby, won't otherwise flit

Yeah, the roots make pretty good burrowing spots

It's not just anywhere, Squirrels bury walnuts

Filtering the sunlight for flowers and grapevines

Not just Poppies but also Columbine

Many a times I have thought it to be old,

I wonder, if it has its story All told;

Should I cut it to plant some fruit trees there,

Wait! my heart tells me, don't you dare!

Then I see these birds, squirrels and bees

living famously with this majestic entity,

the cool summer breeze, under which slowly wafts,

And occasional wetness of dew that drops 

So dawns upon me, that this tree, this life,

Bestowed upon me to better the plight, 

Let me care for this wonderment of divine nature,

May my Jacaranda tree forever retain its stature.

Manjari

Shadow of Happy Moments

There are times when I am so happy

My soul is soaring with merriment n glee,

The buzzing of bees and humming so loud,

Almost makes me feel just proud,

Birds are singing and breeze is flowing

And my inner being is just about glowing

I feel connected to the One supreme

And it almost feels like living a dream

Comes one cloud, casting dark shadow

Turning the thoughts that were so mellow

Why do I have the blessing to feel it all

Will feeling this, make happiness forestall?

Why can't this beauty, this bounty of nature,

Be felt be shared, no matter what your stature!

It does not matter whether you have or not,

Won't we all be once forgot.. !!

Love you may, to fill your heart with joy

To some it will be pure and to some alloy

So why not live and share in peace 

This feeling of bliss will only increase

Manjari

Amaranthine Bonds

Yes, I waited for you probably all my life,
N' when we finally met, fate joined hands aflight

Fly we did, through colorful skies,
and barren deserts, that breathed dry.
And there were days with showers scant,
you saved my soul, ever so gallant.

All ups and downs of life and death,
Seemed part of life, since we met

You know,I have been told by men so wise,
keep your ties open, and not so tight,
People come and go in life,
Never let it bring you strife

I listen to it and I listen to All
Why is it so that my heart falls
Every time I think of you not near
All is foggy only you are clear

I know, I know, this yearning is bad
but I also know the feeling of dread
The feeling that swells so, in my heart
when I find you being so far apart

These amaranthine bonds follow no rules
whether written is small or majuscule
I will live and breathe as I may
my heart and soul will never astray
                                             
                                                  Manjari